Everything turned out just fine. If not for the sweltering heat, it would have actually been a lovely party. I danced like a fool, took many fun pics, received more compliments than I could count, and ate amazing food.
I think the biggest issue I had with this whole process is that it seemed like The Bride and Groom had in their minds an idea of what a maid of honor is supposed to be, but didn’t convey that to me, so I felt like I was a constant disappointment. I’m so bad at being “normal” - I don’t really function the way people seem to expect based on all the surface things about me.
I need to stop being around people who want me to be normal. This morning I curled up in B’s arms and sobbed, just letting out all of the built up anxiety and emotion of the past few days.
I am exhausted, I am emotionally spent, and I need to turn off my brain for a good while.